Writings by me

I have an awkward relationship with Mother’s Day; my own mum dying at 11 makes it an extremely painful reminder of that. Yet I also feel incredibly lucky to have my own children and incredibly in awe of mothers everywhere for all they do.

What I really detest, is the idea that what all mothers really want and need, is a day of flowers, hugs, kisses, brunches, and boxes of chocolates. And perhaps that’s me being grumpy, but if all it took was a day of all this showering of affection to make mums’ lives easier, I’d be all for it.

Instead, what I really want for Mother’s Day is the following:

1. The gift of time that is all mine, to do with as I please. And if we want to use that time to be with our kids, or only pottering around the house without being called upon to do anything else, then so be it.
2. Universal free childcare – yes this old one again. Even though we are basically out of needing pre-school childcare and can access the 30 free hours, we now have wraparound and holiday care to think about. And it’s extortionate!
3. Planning child-friendly spaces: from designing all toilets with appropriate facilities (and wide enough to actually get a buggy in) to making shops more easily accessible and putting more child-friendly cafes in place. Motherhood is easier when we, as a society, are not treating kids as an afterthought.
4. A motherhood experience that is free from judgement and too many guidelines. Most mamas deserve recognition that while we’re not perfect, and never will be, we are doing our best with what we have. And while that might be in ways that don’t conform to what we ‘should’ be doing, most mamas are ‘good enough’. For the sake of everyone involved, that is exactly how it should be.
5. A support system to be yourself in, and an acceptance by wider society that asking for help is a good thing and that you don’t have to do this alone.

To all you lovely mums out there, hope you had a good one, however you chose to spend it