Writings by me

You will be aware by now, of one of my favourite pastimes; getting cross about mum-bashing.
The latest (well probably not the latest, but the latest I have noticed) comes from Loose Women and features on that spectrum us working mums all know so well. You know the one; the spectrum from ‘not working at all and being deemed ‘just a SAHM’ (shudders) and ‘working full time and having people ask you why you bothered having kids.’

Well here’s a new one for you: being judged for working at the same time as looking after your kids.

Excuse me while I scream into my pillow. Because why in 2023, after a huge shift to home-working, after parents were forced to juggle childcare with work at home during lockdown, is this still even a thing?! Let’s pick this apart shall we?

What is so bad about working while your kid is at home? Might they have to play by themselves for a bit? Are you going to be so distracted that they swallow all of the Lego in your home? Are they going to explode from watching too much on the iPad/TV? This all feels a bit hysterical.

Firstly, your child learning to play by themselves is never going to be a bad thing; it teaches them they are not the centre of the universe, independence and unleashes their creativity.

Secondly, no you are never going to be so distracted that they are in danger – you’re just not. The likelihood is that, since becoming a parent, you have become a bit of a pro at managing many things at once and you’re also probably a scheduling wizard.

Thirdly, educational programmes are so good now – so as long as you’re not putting them in front of The Godfather parts 1, 2 and 3, I think your kids will be fine. The real issue is that we are still judging mums for working; it’s an old, archaic attitude repackaged for 2023.

The real issue we should be getting upset about is that the infrastructure for childcare in this country is still so poor that this is even necessary. I write this while in a cafe during half term with my eldest sat next to me doodling in his notebook and while I acknowledge that not all kids are as chill as this, if the job you do allows you this freedom, I implore you to try it; the companionable industriousness of it is rather lovely.